Emotional pain is usually self-inflicted. A lot of problems in marriage are brought about by lack of self-esteem by either the wife or husband. The classical example of marital problems arising from lack of self-confidence is jealousy. Many fights that happen between couples result from unfounded accusations of the wife or husband having an affair outside marriage. This problem usually brings couples to the door of Bakersfield marriage counselors. Of course, others are founded claims. Regardless of which, the marriage counselor tries to resolve such issues by assisting in ways to help the wife or husband develop self-esteem or finding out why extra-marital affairs have happened.